Choosing Your Hard – My Decision to go Back to Work After Kids

Let’s face it, life has seasons of great times and seasons of hard times. It is hard to work and raise a family and it’s hard to be a stay-at-home parent struggling with finances. Sometimes you even find yourself as a working parent who is struggling with finances and it feels that life is hitting you from all angles.

When my youngest was born, I would have loved to focus on being a ‘domestic engineer’ however it wasn’t long before I realised our financial goals would not be met on one income. We were in our early 20s, still trying to get established and the idea of home ownership, or even just a decent amount in the savings account seemed impossible. Not to mention the sacrifices we were making didn’t seem worth it in the long run. We had sold a car to cut costs (which made a dramatic difference), and my husband was riding his push bike to work. After being hit by a bus and breaking a few ribs and then another incident where a car passenger leaned out of a moving car to push the random guy on a bike over, we decided it wasn’t viable long term. I did the sums and found that me going back to work only made us a little better off, probably $2-3k a year. This was after adding in a second car, other expenses and day care. I know a lot of you are thinking “I wouldn’t bother for that!” and I would completely understand, after all, it’s a very personal decision. For us, it was the difference between home ownership and renting forever. Hard to believe? Let’s break it down. Firstly, it’s not just your base wage locked in forever. Going back to work I was able to pickup overtime here and there, take on more hours and higher duties and work my way into a better role, something I would not have been able to achieve without returning to work. The bank I worked for also had benefits, share allocation, bonuses, and Lender Mortgage Insurance waivers, meaning we only needed to save a 10% deposit. This was before scheme spots when the only grant available was for building. Building at the time was around $100K more expensive than purchasing an existing home so we decided to forgo the promise of a $25K grant and save the 10% deposit for an established house knowing it would pay off in the long run.

Another benefit that no one talks about is superannuation. It wasn’t until years later that I realised I hadn’t even taken my super into account when making this decision. After all, I was 22—and even 22-year-olds who work in finance aren’t thinking about their super. Long service leave was another gem I hadn’t considered which ended up being a blessing later in life. I also had the benefit of a second period of paid maternity leave when I had my next child.

It is hard being a stay-at-home mum and watching the savings either not move or, in my case, start going backwards. It’s also hard being a working mum. Instead of ‘unwinding’ at night, you are catching up on the housework, laundry, school and life admin and in some cases, you have more work to do. Having a special needs child means I often find myself running between specialist appointments, school meetings and often have the phone call from school to ‘come in straight away.’ Meaning I have hours to make up for after the kids go to bed. Anyone in this position knows how stressful it can be. At least once a week I feel like I need to quit my job and focus on keeping the house running and my son in school. Unfortunately, quitting only gives me a different version of ‘hard’. It’s hard raising special needs kids regardless of whether I work or not. The ‘hard’ for me is more around how long I want it for. I decided I want the hard part in my 30s rather than doing the hard I did in my 20s, hard for now in my early 30s and the hard that will come when my children are grown, and I am then trying to make up things financially, sacrificing like I did in my 20s. Who knows what the cost of living will be at that time and how hard it will be to go back to work after so long out of the industry. Now, there is a skill shortage, and jobs are easy to come by. That may not be the case in 10 years, and I like to plan for the worst and hope for the best. I would also like to be able to pay for my children’s Uni so they don’t face the challenges of Hecs the way my generation has.  Something I would not be able to do without continuing to build our wealth.    

Going back to work was the best decision for me. The rewards seemed small but compounded and increased year after year. With sacrifices and living debt free, are savings started snowballing. No one told us that the choices we made in our late teens and early 20s, which seemed to make very little difference at the time, would make such an impact that made us thrive later in life. I wish I had some encouragement at that age and could see the rewards to come. I just had to have faith I was on the right track and the little things would make a difference.